Friday, July 22, 2011

How to get over a break-up.

Breakups are hard, there's no denying in that. However, people break-up for a reason. With that in mind, you need to get over someone the right way and also keep in mind that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to trust life on that.

There are quite a few aspects about a break-up as to why or how it happens and for some, closure is what it takes to move on or start the process of moving on. Admit your wrongs and forgive yourself, with the idea that you won't repeat them in the future. See and take into consideration the wrongs that have been done to you as well. It is very important that you do so, that way you'll learn the boundaries of your ideal relationship.

Once you break-up with someone or the other way around, there is no turning back, this is real life and not some movie where people get back together and live happily ever after.

The break-up rules:

1. Cut off all contacts with your ex. Believe me, you don't want to keep track of their life without you. This will prolonge and add up uselessly to the process of moving on. Delete them from Facebook, MSN, your phone, etc. Also move all the pictures into a folder that won't come up in your face each time you turn on your computer. Or delete them altogether.

2. I will call this one "The 60 days rule". Which means imposing yourself to not contact your ex in any way for 60 days. For no reason, not at all. You should've given their stuff and gotten your stuff back from them by now.

3. Get a new haircut. But, please don't go all crazy with it. Google trendy hairstyles or just go to a good salon and ask for something that will suit you.

You can spice it up with some streaks, even a new color or just play with the tones of your current haircolor.

4. Allow yourself a little retail terapy and go shopping. Go for sexy but classy.

5. For 30 days, make it a rule to accept every invitation you get from everyone you know even if you don't feel like it. You need to go out, meet new people, have fun and live your life.

6. Breakups are often associated with the pain you feel when someone dear to you dies and grief is normal. Allow yourself to grieve, there is no shame in that. It is rather healty and very normal and it is also part of moving on.

For an undetermined period of time, you should expect yourself to swing from feeling okay to feeling sad. You will be having good days where you won't think about your ex at all, followed by bad days where you don't feel like doing anything.

7. Be prepared to hear that they have already moved on or that they are seeing other people, even that they are talking behind your back. Some people get nasty while dealing with breakups. Of course, you may feel angry, but anger is okay, it burns the soul clean. Don't let it affect you and remember that this is not a competition, nor should you search for revenge. If you ask me, there is no better revenge than happiness. Use that energy to work on your well-being instead.

8. Another painful aspect of a break-up that you should be aware of, could be returning to known places. You can't help it but feel nostalgic and that is probably one of the times when you feel you miss them the most. What you need to do is to replace those thoughts with replaying in your mind everything that you hated about your ex. In time you'll create other memories in those places and you'll not associate them with your ex anymore.

Someday soon you will wake up and probably won't even realise how long it has been since you haven't thought about your ex. And even if they will cross your mind, you will feel nothing.

Each of us has it's own way of dealing with situations. For some it is harder to deal with things, while others are stronger and get over something much easier. Either way, it is in our nature to fight and to succed. No matter how worse the times, tomorrow will be better. And remember that you're not alone, your friends would be happy to be by your side.

1 comment:

  1. There's a tendency that you'll have to go back to the places that you guys used to hang out with and it's pretty normal. But if you really want to completely move on from the break up then you just have to control that emotions of yours and your longing of wanting him back once again.